A Creative Outlet

 The joys of being a sixth child!

Oob asked if he could draw beards and mustaches on the outlets and I could not think of a reason to say no.

So I said yes.

I think you unwind a bit with each child, but I think I don't have much wind left.

Seven Quick Takes: The Weird, the Wonderful, and Lent

 

 1.  It was the strangest thing.We were walking through the woods and saw robins throwing leaves.  They were on the forest floor, very deliberately picking up leaves and throwing them vigorously into piles!

We went over to investigate and found the places where the birds had been: small patches of bare ground with a little leaf pile next to each spot... and a worm hole in the exact center of each bare patch!

 2. Klenda continues to do very well at art school,  She has become known  as "The Quirky One."  For some reason.

They were painting a white ball surrounded by colored scarves (an exercise in perceiving reflected color).

She put this face on the ball, which I think shows hidden depths of creativity, skill, and creepiness.




3. We had slipped into a rut in our dinner time conversation.  We would start out talking about our day, and quickly move over to what was happening in a video or computer game or movie.  I wanted to broaden the horizons a bit.

What did I want to talk about?  I came up with a list and put it on a spinner.  You may notice that all the topics I found annoying are also on the spinner.

We don't spin the spinner, just move the hand one space each day.  The question jar is a jar filled with dinner conversation topics that I got here and here.



And, yes, we also have a spinner to show if we prayed before meals because one family member got tired of others asking at each meal (usually after prayers), "Did we pray yet?"

We're a bit weird like that.

 4. Now that it's March, I guess it's time to mention Valentine's Day!  

One of the question jar questions was : what is your favorite family tradition?

Mine is everyone making valentines for each other!

We go around the table and read them one at a time. So fun!  So much love!




 
5. I had a bone infection in my jaw and had to have minor surgery and a tooth removed.  They are going to put another one back (dental implant), which makes it feel a little less like I'm just losing body parts as I age, but it still hasn't been the most fun.

Every time I want to complain, I think of this meme (from Lit Catholic Memes), and it cheers me up!

6. Lent is almost here!  At long last! It feel weird having this much time between Christmas and Lent.  Also, given that I can't eat much right now (see #5) it feels like it's already Lent!  I'll do a separate post about this year's Lent, but if you're looking for Lent ideas, here you go.  This is the poster from 3 years ago, but, given the 3 year cycle, this year's poster will be similar.

7. Can I just say that shoebills creep me out?

When we were at the Natural History Museum this week, we stumbled onto a wonderful new exhibit tucked back behind the dinosaur exhibit on the second floor.

The actual exhibit is a selection of fascinating things from all over the Smithsonian collections, and we loved it!

But seriously, these birds are each about four feet of creepy!

Have a great weekend!  More fun with Kelly!

In Other News

The Emperor and I went out to visit Mom's grave and see her new headstone.  We had a very nice time- I suppose we were gone for an hour, and when we got home the house smelled...good.

Choclo and Oob had decided they were hungry and had fixed themselves a snack.  Mmmmmmmm.  What could be better than buttered roasted garlic? 

Between the two of them, they ate 28 cloves (according to them, but my bag of garlic is nearly empty).

So, yes, the house did smell like an Italian restaurant. Choclo and Oob, on the other hand, smell like small kids who have each eaten over a dozen cloves of garlic. 

On the bright side, this really knocked out the cold.  On the dimmer side, it also knocks out anyone within 10 feet.

Poem of the Week: Father's Day

A Father to His Son

A father sees his son nearing manhood.
What shall he tell that son?
'Life is hard; be steel; be a rock.'
And this might stand him for the storms
and serve him for humdrum monotony
and guide him among sudden betrayals
and tighten him for slack moments.
'Life is a soft loam; be gentle; go easy.'
And this too might serve him.
Brutes have been gentled where lashes failed.
The growth of a frail flower in a path up
has sometimes shattered and split a rock.
A tough will counts. So does desire.
So does a rich soft wanting.
Without rich wanting nothing arrives.
Tell him too much money has killed men
and left them dead years before burial:
the quest of lucre beyond a few easy needs
has twisted good enough men
sometimes into dry thwarted worms.
Tell him time as a stuff can be wasted.
Tell him to be a fool every so often
and to have no shame over having been a fool
yet learning something out of every folly
hoping to repeat none of the cheap follies
thus arriving at intimate understanding
of a world numbering many fools.
Tell him to be alone often and get at himself
and above all tell himself no lies about himself
whatever the white lies and protective fronts
he may use against other people.
Tell him solitude is creative if he is strong
and the final decisions are made in silent rooms.
Tell him to be different from other people
if it comes natural and easy being different.
Let him have lazy days seeking his deeper motives.
Let him seek deep for where he is born natural.
Then he may understand Shakespeare
and the Wright brothers, Pasteur, Pavlov,
Michael Faraday and free imaginations
Bringing changes into a world resenting change.
He will be lonely enough
to have time for the work
he knows as his own. 

By Carl Sandburg

HT: Poem Hunter

Why You Shouldn't Smile

I did NOT think the pun was funny.

Surprised!

 When you take pictures of your kids, do you want just one picture of everyone-smiling-nicely-with-their-eyes-open-and-is-that-too-much-to- ask?

It is.

But, really, most of the time, that's what I'm looking for.

Dramatic

You ate what?

But sometimes, I ask the kids not to smile.

 I ask them to look surprised, scared, worried, angry, silly, or anything else I (or they) can think of.
 

 And I always get fantastic pictures!

Really?

I print out 8 or 9 "emotion" pictures for each kid and slip it into the binder with their six month sheets.

So fun!

My head is going to explode!

The Balancing Act

We're back (kinda)!

The portfolio review went swimmingly.  I love having that chance to review how each kid is doing,and it's really revved me up to do more great stuff this semester. 

I kind of had a hard time pulling things together this time, partly because of outside forces, partly because I did not do a good job of blogging all the great stuff the Zoomlians are doing. 

About those "outside forces."  My much beloved mother in law went to the hospital for an asthma attack in early January and discovered the problem was really her heart.  She's out of the hospital now, awaiting surgery.  My dear father in law and amazing sister in law are doing the lion's share of care, but I am going over as often as I can to help out and have a little "mom time."

It's a balancing act.  She has been there for me throughout the last 25 years, and I want so much to be there for her.  The Zoomlians have risen to the occasion heroically, and they are all old enough to be left on their own.  But.

This is the tricky bit: they need me there too.  The smallest part of it is practical. Part of it is educational (although things do seem to just keep going), and part of it is emotional.  When I'm with them, I can see when conflicts and problems are starting, and I usually diffuse them (these kids just need more space), or point them out so the kids can diffuse them (when you say this, what is he hearing?), depending on the age and needs of the kid.  When I'm not there, things can build. 

This too is a learning experience for the kids, and I can see that God is using it.  I just need to discern how God wants me to balance my time. My weekly hour of Adoration has become essential: I need to talk about how things are going and get instructions for the next week.  My friend, Fr. Pinto, used to talk about that, but I am really feeling it now!

And the Lord is arranging things, too.  We didn't have enough teens to do the co-op this semester. We'll continue our Adventurers field trips, but those don't require the level of work of the co-op.

Photo: Ilya Zomb's The Art of Balance from his series The Metamorphoses of Stillness

The Cold and Fever Within

Last Thursday, all the kids woke up with a sore throat.  I was delighted.

Not that sickness was good news, but that they all were getting it at the same time.

Let me tell you a story:

Waaaaaay back before I had kids, I was an immunology research lab technician. I had a particular talent for cell culture.  I had excellent aseptic technique.

My technique was good enough that I was able to do intracellular culture in human cells in a bacteria lab without a laminar flow hood and my cultures were never contaminated. All of which just means that I know what it takes to protect something from viruses and bacteria.

Back when I had all little kids, my worst nightmare was a stomach bug.  So when a kid got sick, even though I knew it was likely a highly contagious, super tiny norovirus that would be impossible to contain without a hospital's isolation unit, I had to try.

Using absolute best possible practices, maintaining strict isolation and using copious quantities of bleach, I achieved the following: I delayed the spread of the stomach bug so that, 12-24 hours after one child stopped vomiting, the next one started. And we were sick for a solid month. To add insult to injury, the severity tended to increase with each child.

I don't regret trying, because I had to know if it was humanly possible.  It isn't.  The only way to have only one young child get a stomach bug is to have only one young child.

After that, as soon as one kid got started, I encouraged them all to group hug, and give the sick one lots of kisses.  When they're sick, faster is better.

Back to the present day, I was delighted that they were all getting the cold at the same time, and that they were likely to be all over it by Thanksgiving (we can't visit my folks if we have a respiratory infection).  Alas, this took a turn for the feverish, and on Saturday, 6 of 8 had high fevers.  Today, 7 of 8 have low fevers (I got the fever early and am over it - a brilliant move on my part, since I need to make large quantities of tea right now).

I'm not sure what will happen for Thanksgiving, but, on the bright side, no one feels awful, just feverish, stuffy, and sneezy, so we've been having a nice time relaxing together!

Odd Parenting Hack #842

This is something that will only work if you are a certain kind of mom (silly) with a certain kind of kid (silly).  I am, so I'm throwing this out there.

Choclo recently told me, with great delight, that he had discovered a fast and easy way to put away his clean clothes. "I find the emptiest drawer, and then I put the whole pile in.  And then I'm done!"

I have long suspected that a number of my children use this method, but he was the first to tell me about it.

At the time, we were only a week away from the clothing shift, so I only commented that it might seem faster, but it wasn't a good long term solution.

Last Saturday, I did the big seasonal clothing shift.

Choclo is still young enough (8) that I do most of the work for him, and just call him when it's done.

As we were walking up the stairs to see his new exciting wardrobe (he went up to size 10!), I explained the importance of caring for pets.

When he had a pet, he had to make sure to feed it exactly what it needed.  If he fed it the wrong thing, it might get sick!


Then I introduced Choclo to his new pet: Bureau.

Each drawer is carefully labelled with exactly what it needs to be fed!

Choclo thought it was hilarious.

We'll see how well Bureau gets fed...
 

Are You Done Yet?

I used to get that question a lot when all 6 of mine were little.  I think people were just a little awed/terrified/amused at seeing me in the store with the baby in a sling, toddler in the cart seat and two kids hanging on  each side of the cart.

 I still get that question from time to time.

My answer to, "Are you done yet/ do you want more?" has always been, "Yes, we'd love another baby, but you don't get babies just by wishing."  Meaning, I don't know if we'll be able to have another.  Which is true and it refocuses the discussion with the view that each child is not only valuable, but rare in the sense that you you may or may not be able to have even one. 

It also turns out to be a kind answer when the person asking isn't able to have kids.  About half the time the person who asked the question then shares that they weren't able to have children, and many others reveal that they couldn't have as many as they wanted.

And then we lost the 4 babies after our number 6, so I've been really glad that has been my answer!

I know there are a lot of more clever replies out there, and they're fun to read, but I'm not sure they really help anyone, especially since so many people asking are coming from a place of pain. 

I'll admit, my answer to, "Are they all yours?" was, "Just the cute, well behaved ones." Which, I (and the cashier who had asked) thought was funny.

And once, when quite harried at the grocery store, I was asked if I were babysitting and I told them that I was NOT crazy enough to take 6 EXTRA kids to the grocery store.

But I have never gotten a mean question about my kids, unlike many friends with large families, and my response to a rude comment would be different.  It amazes me how some moms get targeted in front of their children with mean/rude comments (like "don't you know what causes that/were any of them accidents/don't you have a TV?").  It's not a matter of bad kid behavior attracting those kinds of comments, either.  My friend that gets the most mean spirited comments has the best publicly behaved kids I know.

I think it's a matter of diffidence versus confidence.

I do not look like an easy target for mean people. Oh, I'm (hopefully) pleasant enough, but I don't look like a person who would be "too nice" to respond to a snarky comment. My friend looks (and really is) too nice to respond in kind.  I once did get a person who was about to make a rude remark, and I just looked at her, waiting.  She changed her mind and turned away.

But I did once get reported (anonymously, of course) as having an unlicensed daycare! :D

College Daze

One reason that I'm backed up on the blogs (not just mine, I haven't had time to read blogs!) is the adjustment to our "full load" schedule.

When Mxyl turned 16, he became not only  eligible to drive, but also to take college classes at out local community college.  So he did!

Continuing his interest in computer animation, he is taking a computer graphics course and an art history course.  This means he's off at college twice a week for 5 hours a shot!  He's having a great time and learning a lot (foremost how to juggle time, homework, and deadlines).

He's also taking Japanese in a separate, online course.  And all the rest of the high school stuff.

Did I mention he just got elected Senior Patrol Leader for his scout troop? And he's doing art lessons. And Youth Group. Plus, he's teaching himself how to play guitar.

And he, along with the rest of the Zoomlians, are doing the co-op, Anatomy and Physiology, and Adventurers with us.

Amongst other Zoomlians, Klenda is learning Spanish in preparation for a trip to Spain next summer, and she's doing art and piano lessons, and Junior Ladies of Charity and the rest of her stuff.

Zorg is beginning preparations for Confirmation next year!  And he's doing Spanish (for an eventual trip to see Tia and Tio), Art, Geometry, and his regular stuff.  And he's been elected Patrol Leader of his patrol of his scout troop!

Leena is doing Art, Piano, Spanish, Junior Ladies of Charity, and the rest of her stuff, all while keeping up her sunny smile and social whirl.

Choclo is doing Wolf Scouts, and Oob will soon be starting Tiger Scouts.

I am working through Anatomy and Physiology, and not reading many blogs!

It reminds me of when I had many kids under five: it's like drinking from a fire hose.  It's all great, fun stuff, but there sure is a lot of it!

It should settle down as we find our rhythm, but it's kind of wild right now.

Ready?

My camera tells me I'm behind on my posting. 

Last Monday, the Emperor returned to school for his preparation week, and we began to prepare for our school year in earnest. I'm a planner: I love to plan, and I love to have a plan.

 And we had Shakespeare camp.  And I did a ton of fun stuff with the younger Zoomlians.  And I set up my Anatomy and Physiology class.  And life went merrily rolling along.

I think life needs a pause button. 

Really, I could have done it all if dishes, laundry, clutter, and the need for regular meals hadn't continued to pile up!  The Zoomlians usually do most of these things, but we've all slipped some over the summer.

We've also had a series of serious health problems in our extended family, and that, more than anything, made me feel overwhelmed - like I had way more than I could handle.  That spinning out of control feeling in the pit of my stomach... I hate it, and that comes out in me losing my temper and snapping at the kids.

Surprisingly, me losing my temper often results in the kids losing theirs. Who'da thunk it?

At least I know what to do:  apologize, go to confession, and get to Adoration.

"Way more than I can handle" means I'm not supposed to be handling it, I'm supposed to be handing it to God.  And... peace. 

Did everything magically get done?  Not everything I wanted, but everything that really needed to happen, and we were happy doing it.  I was able to talk to the kids about what needed to happen, and they stepped up to the plate and helped out. 

Of course they did!  Why do I get so stressed that I try to force what they invariably freely give when I tell them I need help?  Because I think I can do everything, which means, deep down, I still think everything relies on me.  It doesn't, it relies on God. That's a happier way to live.

My class starts tomorrow.  Today is the First Day of No School.  I'm ready!

Wise Child

Choclo and the Emperor were talking about seasons and the Emperor was explaining that "equinox" means "equal night," referring to the fact that the lengths of day and night are equal on the equinoxes.

Choclo: Isn't there a character in Batman, the Brave and the Bold named Equinox?

The Emperor: That's right.

Choclo:  Isn't he half good and half bad? 

The Emperor: Well, supposedly.

Choclo: Yeah, supposedly, he wants everything to be equally good and bad, but that doesn't make any sense.  You know why?  If you mix together a cup of water and a cup of mud, you know what you get? Mud!

Toe Explosion

The other day, I noticed that Leena's shoe was starting to fall apart.  This was annoying, to say the least, since we had just bought that pair 2 months ago.

A day or so later, I was going to the store, and decided I'd better check first to see how bad the shoe really was.

Both shoes had exploded at the tips and now had toes sticking out of them.

Really?  Really?!?

Yes.  She had accidentally stepped in a puddle of Miracle-gro and her feet had grown 2 full shoe sizes in as many months.  She is now wearing shoes half a size smaller than my shoes.  Why, yes, she is 10 years old.

What can you do?

I'll tell you what everyone else did.  They went off to find the puddle, and I've just replaced four pairs of toe exploded shoes!

The Clothing of an Era

Or maybe the closing of an era! 

I haven't talked much here about coming to terms with leaving Babyville.  I lived there for so long, and I had such a nice time there, that I can't leave without "a sigh and a tear in the eye."

But with all the organizing, I came to the realization that I no longer need to save the baby clothes for the "next one."

And if I don't need to save them for my own children, holding them meant they were not on other children, and maybe not on other children who needed them.

So, I did what I do when things get tough: I threw a party!

I hauled out 21 bins of girls' clothing from newborn to size 10, and 12 bins boys' clothing from newborn to 4T and invited all the moms I knew to a tea party and clothing give away.

Did I mention the coats and snow suits?

People came and browsed and chatted and drank tea.  And, God bless them, they hauled away bags and bags of clothes!

Astoundingly, after they left, I realized they had not made a sizable dent in my clothing stockpile, leading me to wonder how many more children I had thought I was having!

To be fair, I have had babies in every size, shape, gender, and season, and I have always had clothes for all of them.  I really had been throwing away the worn out stuff, but I was also loaning out clothes, and they always seemed to come back with more!

So now we are in phase 2: we have been transferring bins to bags, and bringing the bags to the crisis pregnancy center.

So far we've brought them 25 garbage bags of clothes.

That's about a third of it.

Trajectory

A conversation with my friend, Becky, has gotten me thinking a lot about trajectory in parenting.

To me this means having a clear idea of where you want your child to be on his or her 18th birthday.  Not a physical location, or even a "they should be in college" type thing.  I mean thinking about what it means to be a fully functional adult, and how to get there from "It's a boy!" in 18 years.

I want my kids to be deeply connected to God, to draw life and guidance from their relationship with Him.  I want that life to spill out into the lives of others.

I want them to be able to confidently navigate daily life (feed, clean and care for themselves).

I want them to able to handle their own finances.

I want them to know how to find out what they want to know, and to want to know lots of things.

I want them to be able to sort out truth from error.

I want them to have a knowledge base that allows them to do whatever God calls them to do.

I want them to able to drive and be able to literally navigate their way through life!

I want them to be comfortable in their own skin, to know who God created them to be and to be excited about being that person.

I want them to be able to think of others and  to look at a situation and think about how to make it better.

Where do you want your kids to be?  Do you have an intentional trajectory?

Reverse Paparazzi

 It's the age of the camera phone and Choclo and Oob know it.

A trip to the hardware store turns into a photo op: Look!  A lawn mower!  Take a picture of meeeee!

Isn't it beeeautiful? Take a picture of meeeeeee!

And I do.

It's funny, in the age before digital cameras, the older kids got pictures whenever they did anything cute, while the younger kids got pictures whenever their parents could find the camera.  And film.  And batteries.

Now, I have a picture of Choclo amidst the furnace filters, holding something I couldn't identify then, let alone now.

And it's on the internet!

Another Gray Hair

Today's gray hair brought to you by Choclo and Oob.

This resourceful team waited patiently until the Prime Minister and the older Zoomlians were discussing the building of the Panama Canal.

They then crept into the guest room, removed the hose from the vacuum cleaner and made their way into the sacrosanct Guest Bathroom.

Here they designed a system to transfer water from the sink to the shower via the vacuum cleaner hose. The hose was short, but stretchy. Undaunted by the water splashing about their ankles they continued to refine their technique, right up until the Prime Minister noticed that it was raining in the basement...

SPROING! See? Another gray hair!

UPDATE: Choclo and Oob continued their rampage later by mixing orange juice, milk , and eggs mostly in a cup. They came to me to tell me about it and ask if they were allowed to have straws with it. That was when I discovered that they had tried to clean it up with toilet paper and fruit. SPROING!

As you can see, all has been forgiven.

(OK, really he is saying, "Do you like my hat?")

Preservation of Society

Recently, we've been trying to figure out an appropriate balance of TV/Computers/iPods/etc. I think this is something every family in our society has to make decisions about, and the answers will be different for each family.

I'm always interested in how others solve this, so I thought I'd post our "rulebook," a work in progress.

The Pavlat Preservation of Society Rulebook:

Flatscreen Use

Overall Rules:

• No flatscreens between 6 PM and 8 AM (Saturdays: 6 AM) without specific permission
• Maximum flatscreen time = 2 hours a day, plus level treats, parent-led educational videos, Saturday pre-breakfast TV, special occasions, sick days, and watching others play games
• No flatscreens with guests without specific permission
• Additional time for Wii, Plug and Play, Didj, iPod, websites, and other computer time may be “bought” with time spent doing approved useful stuff
• iBreviary may always be used and does not count as flatscreen time

TV (videos/movies)

· Educational use with permission

· Saturday mornings (unless specifically prohibited on Friday night)

Wii:

· Sundays (in 30 minute increments; timers must be used)

· Educational games during Fun Blocks or at other times with permission

Plug and Play:

· 30 minutes on Sundays (timers must be used)

· Other times with permission

Didj and iPod:

· Educational games with permission (standing permission for Mind Snacks)

· 30 minute time limit on useful apps or eBooks

· Other games may only be done with “bought” time or with Mind Snacks time

Computers:

• Total computer time may not exceed 60 minutes a day
• Laptops may only be used in the living room, dining room, or library
• Word processing does not count as computer time, but as flatscreen use

• Computer games:

o 30 minutes on Sundays (timers must be used)

o Educational games during Fun Blocks or at other times with permission (standing permission for Rosetta Stone)

· Websites or Robotics Programming:

o Request specific permission to use the Internet or robotics programming

o All requests must include reason for use (i.e., tell what you will do and why)

o Websites from bookmarks list only (websites approved upon request)

o 30 minute time limit (timers must be used)

· Other computer time (including customizing Windows):

o May only be done with “bought” time or with Rosetta Stone time

o 30 minute time limit (timers must be used)

Seven Quick Takes Friday

1. I think 2 1/2 (the golden age of NO) is just easier the 6th time around. Ten years ago, when Mxyl said, "NO!", he was challenging my parental authority and rejecting me as a good mother. Now, Oob says, "NO!", and this little person is just trying to assert himself in the great big world. Neither of them get the cookie before dinner, of course, but I'm just more compassionate with Oob and I don't take it personally (sorry, Mxyl!). My favorite thing Oob says is, "Nokay."

2. Choclo is the most polite disobedient child ever. He never says, "NO!" It's always, "No, thank you." As in (Me), "Choclo! Get in bed! NOW!" Choclo, sidling away with a very polite tone, "No, thank you, Mommy." Must. not. take it. personally.

3. Why spend money on pricey math manipulatives? On a hunch, I gave a head of garlic to Choclo. He spent an unbelievable amount of time removing the papery husks and separating and counting the cloves. Now he is counting them into (and pouring out of) a jar. His comment? "Smells good!"

4. Mxyl is headed out for the Polar Bear Plunge! He will be camping out in 20 degree weather and then take a refreshing dip in the Chesapeake Bay on Saturday, probably during a snow storm. These Boy Scouts are rugged! It's for a great cause, though, Special Olympics. If you'd like to sponsor him for $1 to $5, you can do it here. All the money goes to Special Olympics!

5. I am feeling a bit sheepish. I have had a bad cold for the last two weeks. Finally, the Emperor insisted that I go to the doctor. Dr B. gave me on an antibiotic.

Then he said, "Here's what I think happened, some days you would feel wiped out, so you would rest. The next day you would feel better and try to catch up on all the stuff you didn't do while you rested, and the next day you would feel wiped out. Every day you told yourself, 'I think I'm getting better.'"

I think I sat there with my mouth open. Is he psychic?

No. He has 11 kids himself, and has carefully observed his wife.

6. I got the guest room cleaned! No picture of that room, because I forgot to lock the door. Within 12 hours, Choclo and Oob found the bag of compressed gerbil bedding (pine shavings). What fun! The filled the little coffee maker. They filled the shower. They merrily strewed the rugs. They pulled out the drawers and the bins on the shelves. The entire room now smells very, very fresh. As fresh as a Carolina pine forest... Isn't it remarkable how much they can compress into those little bags? But, I noticed when I downloaded the pictures, someone took pictures of the kitchen! Thanks.

7. Here's a happy picture of Leena. Ordinarily, I 'm always trying to get pictures of the kids smiling, but every so often, I ask them to look angry, sad, silly, scared, scary, and so on. They love to ham it up, and I get pictures of all the different ways they looked. We choose the 8 best pictures, label them, print them on one sheet (wallet size) and save them in their "Not Scrapbooking" binder. Often we get pictures we weren't trying for, "You look hungry! You look tired! You look like Popeye!" I'll post some later!

More with Jen!

Seven Quick Takes Friday: Kid Clean Up

How about seven ways to get your kids to clean up?

1. If it's an overwhelming mess, help out. Make a deal where you pick up 1, 2, or 3 things for every one the kids pick up (depending on the age and number of kids). Count out loud! Invariably, after a short time, my kids start doing extra to get ahead of me and end up doing more than the deal as I bemoan my fate.

2. Have them pick up a specific number of things, and break it up with treats. We do this when we are watching educational you Tube or BrainPop videos. Everyone knows that to watch another 2 minute video they have to pick up 5 or 10 things. Looked at the other way, when you are doing something the kids like, break it up with work!

3. Break the job down for them. Make a list (if they can read) that tells them specifically what to do. For example, if they are cleaning their room: First pick up all the clothes. Then pick up the books. Next, pick up the toys. Then pick up the trash. Last, make your bed. If they can't read, stay with them and tell them, or make up a song to remind them of the order. The actual order doesn't matter, but the skill of breaking a big job into manageable bites is invaluable.

4. If you have more than one kid working, give them separate jobs. If you tell two or more kids to clean a room, invariably there will be a kid or kids who slack off, or can do less work because of age. The bad feelings and noise level do not make for a clean room! If you have the younger kid pick up the blocks (no sorting involved) and the older kid pick up trash (has to distinguish trash/non-trash), they both will work more willingly and you can tell who is actually slacking off!

5. DO NOT make clean up competitive between kids! The bad feelings ruin the "clean house' feeling. Have them compete against a timer, or against you. I've never yet had a laundry folding competition with my kids that I have won... or lost, if you think about it. Team spirit and a mountain of folded laundry was worth a certain amount of humility!

6. Bribe for big, extraordinary jobs, but not for the normal every day ones. When the whole house needs to be cleaned, I break it up into 9 big jobs. Why 9? Because all the Bionicle movies are free on You Tube in 9 ten minute sections each. Do you have any idea how many big jobs 5 people can do in 9 spurts when they are anxious to see what happens next? I can get the house done and then some, especially if I keep working while they watch. Looney Tunes and Duckula also work well here.

7. Appeal to their better natures (as dramatically as possible). When I've told a kid I really needed help, explained why, and told them what they could do to help me, I have never, ever, ever had them let me down. Always they do what I have asked, and often more! BE GRATEFUL!!! Make a big deal about the fact that they are willing to go above and beyond the call of duty. If you are going to pull the weeds, be even more enthusiastic about watering the flowers! Nurture the hero inside of your kid and you will see it more often.

More with Jen!