The Return of Beowulf, Part 3: the Movie!

I had very little part in this production.  When I suggested they could do a play, I was thinking they would do a just a scene or so. 

What surprised me most was the amount of detail they included - Look, there's Hunferth, giving Beowulf his sword!  Look, the blade of the enchanted sword dissolves after killing Grendel's mother!  Look, Queen Wealtheow serves the cup to everyone in the hall!

Great job, Zoomlians!  It was epic!  Way better than that other movie.

The Return of Beowulf Part 2

Not everything in Beowulf seems heroic now.  What about all that bragging?  The text says that Beowulf bragged humbly!

Some of that is a cultural difference, of course, but some of it is still true: Beowulf says exactly what he does, he never adds things to his exploits, and when someone else helps, he honors them in the story.

We had to try it!  First, I sent my loyal thanes upon a quest to slay a giant laundry monster. Upon their triumphant return, I, their noble lord, rewarded them sweet words and with fowl, sorely vexed. Then we feasted, and each mighty warrior took his turn boasting like Beowulf.

Wondrous were their war-like deeds, mighty was our laughter! Our hall pealed forth merriment unmeasured that would have struck rancorous rage in the heart of Grendel.

Which reminds me, have you seen Julian Glover do Beowulf?   I saw him perform parts of it in the Michael Wood documentary on Beowulf,but here is a recording from when he was a bit younger (introduced by some one a bit older!).

The Return of Beowulf, Part 1

I first encountered Beowulf when I was 5 1/2, reading a collection of "literature for children."  My mother had given me the book to keep me occupied while her baby shower was going on (my little sister was coming).  I don't think she realized what was in the book - to this day I remember that particular image of Grendel which made me afraid to open that page! Yet, the lasting fire in my imagination was Beowulf the hero.

It wasn't until I did Beowulf with my own kids about 5 years ago that I realized that most kids don't encounter Beowulf until high school. 

This time around, I've been reading from  The Story of Beowulf , supplementing the battle scenes with passages from the unabridged Beowulf, while the kids color their own Beowulf books. 

I really like the Marshall version: it tells the story without getting bogged down in the ancient genealogies, yet still retains some of the exalted flavor of the language (people don't "think about things," they "brood thereon").

The story has sparked a great deal of discussion: about heroism, bragging, pride, forgiveness, loyalty, magnanimity, the struggle against sin, the nature of greed and generosity, and the evolution of our culture.

Choclo and Oob were particularly impressed with the story of the dragon.  He had so much gold!  And yet, when one cup went missing he was angry and wanted revenge.  And he couldn't even use the cup!  Would we be like that if someone took one of our Legos without asking? Hmmm.

Epic

 My friend, Fr. Mark, was telling me about his first day back teaching classes, and he recounted it in the style of Hemingway:

alone.

driving.

ill.

in the rain.

blank stares.

vacant minds.

departure.

alone.

in the rain.

I would conclude with another narrative voice, but if I adopt Melville I would have to offer seventy-five pages on the driving wheel I grasped while traveling in to the seminary, and eighty-five pages on the key I used to open the lock of the side door I entered, and one-hundred pages on the wood used to construct the door, placed on hinges, attached to the door frame by screws, using screwdrivers, twisted in a clockwise direction, by calloused male hands, slippery with sweat, laboring beneath the sweltering sun, in the South, near the water, brackish water to the north, in the Lake, fresh water flowing through the river, fresh but polluted, by agricultural combines and sewerage, from cities upriver, their waste flowing through the winding bends of the river channel, bisecting the continent, like blood flowing over gravel, twisting, turning, but ceaselessly flowing, from North to South, uncaring of the lives that exist because of it, on it, beside it, drinking from it, disposing in it, trash representing the detritus of civilization, a word spawned by hubris, the hubris of denial, denial of what is, what was, and what will be, the detritus in which all things return to the dirt, dry or wet, wet or dry, but still dirt, through the centuries, millennia, eons, ages, always dirt, at the beginning and the end, beneath the sky, sometimes filled with clouds, sometimes clear blue, blue because of the angle of sunlight refracted off the atmosphere insulating our elliptical home from the cold of space, icy cold, a vacuum, empty, void, dark, until one turns to the Sun, then overpowering light, and heat, and radiation, traveling ninety-three million miles, mile, after mile, after mile, after mile, after mile, after mile ........:

I thought this was so hilarious, I had to try it!  I mentioned the epic trip to get the flu shots, right?

Here is a fuller recounting done in the style of Beowulf:

 Long sat I in my lofty hall, yet was I wroth and sorely vexed. 
A pestilence had swept down from the frozen North and layed waste to many in the fair lands.
Noble thanes and hearty villeins alike fell before it's frosty gaze.
I pondered with my heart full sore, what was to be done? 

Then awoke my hero's heart! 
Was I to cower before this threat? 
Nay, I would see what strength and cunning I yet possessed! 
Loudly I called my noble thanes, and swiftly they answered my call!

"Be stout hearted!" quoth I.
"We know this evil afflicts out land. 
Shall we do nothing til it seize us in our beds
and wring our hearts blood from us?
No!  We shall track this evil to it's lair,
We shall strike it first, swiftly and sure!"
Who fears the bite of cold steel,
when glorious victory awaits?"

And my noble thanes would not go unrewarded! 
Much treasure would I, their noble lord bestow:
rich rings, curiously wrought of sugar and such sweetness,
crunchy cookies, filled with chocolate morsels,
all this and more I promised.

So we sailed, swift as the eagle to the doctor's office,
yet not knowing the horrors that awaited us.
For whose blood would not run cold,
surrounded by the scourge of plague contained within those walls?
For, swiftly though we came, slowly would we depart.

Hour after leaden hour passed as we waited in the vile room.
Neither victuals nor provisions could be taken into the realm of terror,
and the hour of feasting, when the mead should flow like rivers,
came and went to our empty sorrow.

Yet when we looked to return, empty in hand and belly,
then it was that the battle was upon us!
A giant nurse from days of old fell upon my first born son
and stabbed him in the arm!
Uttering no cry of pain, right manfully he stood the blow
with grim and noble mein.

Yet she stabbed again, and again,
striking to the left and right,
leaving wounds full sore amongst my brave and noble thanes!
Yet the evilest blade, her hideous battle cry,
"It doth not hurt AT ALL!"

In righteous rage I clove her head, splitting her from stem to stern!
"And this for you! "quoth I, "Fear not, it doth not hurt AT ALL."

Well...ok, maybe that's not exactly what I did.  But I felt like it!

Finishing Beowulf

The only proper way to finish up with Beowulf was to stage at least part of the epic. Here you see King Hrothgar (Zorg) holding aloft the bloody arm of Grendel. Mxyl portrayed Beowulf. I was Grendel. Leena was the edible Thane (the only child willing to be seized and eaten). Klenda was the inedible comrade who stayed far on the other side of the mead hall. The Emperor declared it a thrilling performance!

Beowulf the Movie

Since we have been so deep in Beowulf, I thought now would be a good time to talk about the movie. I don't like it. This post contains spoilers.

Neil Gaiman wrote the script using the historical critical method. If you follow Biblical scholarship, this is the method which was so woefully misused by The Jesus Seminar to "prove" that Jesus didn't actually perform miracles, rise from the dead, or claim to be God. The theory of the historical critical method (when misapplied) goes like this: "the writer and subsequent editors each have their own agendas" and "the older the text, the more changes have been made." Therefore, they try to "discover" what the original text might have been. Alas, having their own agendas, we often discover only what the scholar would like to have been true.

In the case of Neil Gaiman and Beowulf, the reasoning went like this: this is a very old text, passed down in the oral tradition in a pre-Christian culture and it must have been written down by monks since they were the only ones who could write. Fine. Therefore, (uh oh) the monks must have Christianized it by adding all the stuff about goodness and removing all the stuff about sex. Excuse me?

In the movie, therefore, Grendel is the son of King Hrothgar (the king whose hall he is pillaging) and, well, Grendel's mom (who is a shape shifting monster who can look like Angelina Jolie). Queen Wealtheow is removed from the story. Beowulf does still kill Grendel but only claims to have killed Grendel's mother. He is, instead, seduced and becomes the father of the dragon who kills him many years later.

Hmm. That's pretty creative. There could be a great story there (maybe portrayed in a less titillating fashion) about the wages of sin being death (have we heard that before?). BUT IT IS NOT THE STORY OF BEOWULF!

Beowulf is, at its core, a story about heroes. It's a story about goodness, courage, self sacrifice, generosity, and humility. Why is that not allowed? It's not realistic. Unlike the shape changing monsters. If we really believe that sin and degradation are the ultimate reality (see reality TV) then we have accepted a rather stupid lie.

The message of Beowulf is that we grapple with flesh eating monsters which take all our courage, strength and virtue to overcome. Do I overstate the point? Can monsters like Pride, Lust, and Envy really tear apart your home and devour your heart? Look around and say it isn't so.

But, the dark struggles with the light and can not overcome it. Maybe that's a Christian part of the story which Mr. Gaiman should have left in.

Beowulf Lunch

I just announced that lunch was almost ready and that we were having "Ultimate Mac and Cheese!"

Leena informed me, "You sound just like Beowulf."

Mmmm. Maybe we'll have mead with that Ultimate Mac and Cheese....

Ultimate Mac and Cheese Recipe

Cook the elbow macaroni.
While waiting:
In a skillet or pot melt 3 T butter and mix with 3 T flour
Add pressed garlic/garlic powder to taste
Add 1 t salt
Add 2 c milk and cook while stirring until bubbly
Remove from heat and add shredded cheese - we used 8oz mild cheddar and 6 oz smoked gouda
Add 1/2 c sour cream and 1/4 c real bacon bits
Stir til blended, then mix the sauce with the (drained!) macaroni.
Call your thanes, kin and comrades in arms to lunch!

Beowulf Housekeeping

In a bizarre crossover of posts: The Zoomlians and I swore undying fealty as thanes of the Emperor and were sent on a quest to prove our valor. To wit: we were sent to dispatch the evil mountain of laundry which had been terrorizing the top floor.

Eight full loads it was, a brute the like of which would quell the courage of the stoutest mortal. Undaunted, we stalked it to its dismal lair. No enterprise for a coward, this.

Gathering our courage we leaped upon the monster. Yet here was a task in which our keenest blades could not avail us! Seizing it with our bare hands we rent it into a thousand neatly folded pieces. Indeed, here was a task for all our courage, strength, speed and cunning!

Within the quarter of an hour the mighty deed was done. The vile mass of fresh smelling fabric was reduced to neat piles, carried away as the spoils of war.

Did our good lord fail to reward his thanes? Indeed, no! Great was the feasting on chocolate, honeyed was the speech of our noble king, praising the heroes. Many were the swords he gave us, finely wrought and inlaid with plastic. Many were the rings and treasures he heaped upon us and great was our honor and that of our lord.

Beowulf

I find I almost always end up with a high tide unit study in January. I think it has to do with taking down the Christmas stuff and seeing all that blank wall space again.

We are having a fabulous time with Beowulf, reading and coloring. I would like to extend the moment, and do a unit study. Poking around, most things seem to be geared for high school.

I'm not doing the Old English version, though I'd like to show the kids what it looks and sounds like. I think we will act it out (with me or the Emperor as Grendel with a detachable arm made from my big roll of paper). I'd like to explain about thanes and gifts and the warrior culture. And make food (danish?). Any ideas?

I like January!

We do low tide "school stuff", high tide spiritual/Advent stuff all December, so it feels like a new school year now. I just finished the paperwork for my mid year portfolio review and that jazzes me up. Especially after a "low" December, it's like, "Oh, look at all the cool stuff we did! We've learned so much this year! We could do all this other stuff..."

Plus, all the great educational Christmas presents are here! We got a DNA lab!!!! We all can't wait to try it! Lots of fun stuff.

We are meandering through Child's History of the World and are in the Middle Ages and I feel a unit study coming on... We've done this before, but it's just so fun! I need to ask the kids and see what they think.

We just finished The Silver Chair (Narnia) read by the Emperor and are midway through Beowulf, read by the Prime Minister with a SCARY Scottish accent. If you were really Scottish you would be terrified, I'm sure. The kids are using the matching Dover coloring book. Fabulous fun. So far Grendel is dead and his mother is hiding with the sea dragons ( that would be "drrrragons").

I asked the kids to make resolutions about things they will learn this year. Most of them had to do with learning to cook particular things. It's looking like a scrumptious new year!

In our copious spare time, I am contemplating a repaint of the house interior... and shuffling the kids' rooms... and since we discovered that Zorg, Klenda and Mxyl could use the sewing machine, we're all discovering our inner tailor. I've been inspired by Melissa's posts on beauty!

One great thing about tidal home schooling, you don't get the dreaded February blahs.