Guest Post from Klenda: The Excuse List

 Actually, I made this list some time ago, but never showed Mom! So one afternoon, I was looking through my notes, and came across this; after reading it to mom aloud,enjoying every moment, she highly recommended (with what breath she had left) that I put it on the blog. So here goes...

I truly apologize, My Dearest Mother, but I can't load the dishes into the dishwasher because...

#1: My hands are allergic to slime.
#2: My pet monkey glued my eyes shut. again.
#3: Choclo's Pet alligators bit off my leg.
#4: When my hands get sticky or slimy, Oob's ultra-rare Slime Slugs will start sucking the slime off my hands and,in the prosses, start sucking off my skin.
#5: Its Leena's job and  #6:I'm not so cruel as to deprive her of this disgusting loathsome character-building task.
#7: The family dog has already licked most of the dishes clean.
#8: I heard you calling me so I started to come downstairs but I remembered I needed to bring down a pencil sharpener but it fell in my eye so I had to go to the emergency room.
#9: My shoes are 3 sizes to small and so I've got blisters all over my feet.
#10: I have to think up another excuse.
#10 1/2: Godzilla squashed me flat.