The Elizabeth Foss post discussion has mutated. I talked with Angel and The Emperor about it and we decided our fascination wasn't about our house (or your house) being clean or not. It's really about our understanding of what God is telling us and our specific missions as families and individuals. [Edit: the rest of this post is not actually about Elizabeth Foss! Her post just provided the jumping off point for the discussion. See the comments for more information.]
I think that when God gives us a clear understanding of what He wants us to do, we have a strong inclination to think it is what He wants everyone to do. God often tells us what He wants us to specifically do. God very rarely tells us what He wants everyone else to specifically do.
I'm not talking about general things like "Love each other" or "Thou shalt not kill." He's covered those things already in a nifty little book! Please don't interpret this as a diatribe against all external standards!
I'm talking about, as an example, knowing that God is a God of order, discovering how He wants you to reflect that order in your life (all good so far!), and then applying your discovery of God's plan for you to those around you. It's a bit like this logic: The Church is infallible. I am part of the Church. Therefore, I am infallible. :) That's great (except it's a terrible mistake).
Honestly, I think this error is the basis of the Mommy Wars. God has told me in no uncertain terms to stay home/go to work/home school/public school/whatever, therefore for anyone to do otherwise is wrong. But the gift (of knowing your mission) was to implement it in your own life and possibly to help others with a similar call.
I say possibly because, even if someone has a very similar call to yours, if you impose your call over theirs you are robbing them both of the joy of discovering that call and their natural unique growth in response to that call. But I think we fall into the trap of wanting the reinforcement of everyone doing it our way.
Angel also raised the point that, to avoid the mistake, the focus needs to be on God. Let's say that I have the insight that God is infinitely loving, nurturing, and creative and that my home school needs to reflect that. It is far better for me to write a post examining these attributes in God and then use examples of how I try to integrate that knowledge into my home school than for me to tell you that mine is The Godly Way to Home school. This gives you the gift of the insight and some practical ideas but let's you determine what (if anything) God would like you to do about it.
2 comments:
I certainly don't think Elizabeth thinks she is infalliable or that she is looking for reinforcement. I think she wrote that post from her heart, hoping to encourage other moms to perservere in their vocations as wives and homemakers. To me, her post reflected the numerous verses in "that nifty little book" that make it clear that we should keep our homes neat and orderly, that we should care for the belongings that God has given us.
The messages on this topic found in Sacred Scripture aren't vague. Certainly clean and tidy will look slightly different for different families but not horribly different. Laundry and dishes, floors and windows are either clean or they are dirty.
Keeping our home clean and tidy is important, whether we enjoy the work or not. Do we need to iron our clothes with scented spray as you mentioned in an earlier post? No, but if it brings your family joy, by all means do it. Just because someone else enjoys doing those little extra touches does not mean they are judging you if you choose to forgo them. Do we need to sweep our floors and wash the dishes off of which our family eats? Yes. Should our family be able to walk around the house without tripping over dangerous piles of things? Yes.
You have mentioned prior to this post that your home is reasonably organized to yours and your husband's liking. But what if you knew of someone whose house was an utter disaster, completely unsanitary to the point of being dangerous for their children's health? What if their children could not walk in their home without tripping on something? What if there was so much clutter on the steps that someone fell and broke their arm? What if the mother in that home told you that it was not their calling to keep the house clean? Obviously I am playing devil's advocate in the above scenario, but really, what if that mother decided God was not calling her to do the work? Where do we draw the line between laziness and a reasonable standard of living?
Certainly there are times when our home will not be as neat and clean as we'd like, perhaps following a baby's birth or during an illness. Nonetheless, the standard is still there that we strive to meet, to be caught up with as soon as it is possible for the health and sake of our families. God calls us to be good stewards of what we have been given. The Proverbs 31 woman is praised for doing just that.
Hi, Rebecca and thanks for your thoughtful comments! Rereading my post I understand it can be interpreted as a diatribe against Elizabeth, and I am sorry, I should have been clearer about that and I'll try to go back and edit or something.
Elizabeth's post sparked the discussion, but it's not so much about her post as it is about a nearly universal tendency to take the good God has given us and force it on other people.
I do agree, a clean safe home is important! It's an important part of my call to serve my family whether I like it or not!
The nifty little book was not a swipe at Elizabeth! I know she is a holy and faithful woman who bases her life on the Bible.
If you go back to her post, however, she didn't describe her friend's house as unsafe or unsanitary (unless she was just being polite calling the bathroom "dingy").
What I find most interesting about this discussion is what it isn't about:
Elizabeth said her discussion of her friend's house wasn't really about her friend's house but about the Foss home and her own role.
For me it wasn't about the friend's house or Elizabeth's role but about the roles we put each other into.
What is it about housekeeping that touches such a nerve with us and why is it connected to so many other areas of our lives?
Lastly, I think you've raised a marvelous question about "what if a mother decided God wasn't calling her to do the work?" But I think this comment has been long enough, so I'd like to do a separate post on that!
Thanks again!
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